Cryin' and Laughin'

May the record be stricken that there are times that I am a bit of a crier. The circumstances vary that inevitably cause the flood gate of tears to fall free. On the contrary, I have also been known to cackle out a belly laugh when hilarity takes over. It's the balance of life I suppose, the good and the bad. As the saying goes it's all over but the cryin', so we will start there...

A couple of weeks ago, we headed on down south to McAllen to visit the Hulings'. On our journey, we followed behind a big heavy- hauler scooting down the highway with half a house. It was half of a fairly nice Palm Harbor Home. Wade and I talked away when a sudden interruption of "Whoosh" resonated through our car. I didn't know what transpired until I looked right in front of me. That trucker had a blow-out of mammoth proportions. Tires just came off one after the other out from underneath the trailer until coming to a jerky stop on the side of the road. Right as he began to come to a stop, the whole house slid off and dragged the ground. Yes, I began to cry. I have no idea why other than the fact that I wondered: How is he going to manage getting where he needs to go? How will he tell his boss? Will his family be waiting on him for dinner tonight? Is he going to have to pay for this out of his own pocket? After Wade laughingly talked me down from my stupor, I realized how parallel this is to our lives. We can be blowing down the highway at full throttle without a care in the world and have a proverbial blow-out. The answer is always right in front of us, the comfort of His scripture and the peace of prayer. It sometimes takes a moment to realize that with all the questions posed in the process of thought.

As you well know, TAKS testing finally wrapped up a few weeks ago. It's two days of stress and wonder about whether or not those kids are going to take the test seriously or if they will play music chairs or connect-the-dots with their scantron. On the second day of testing, I couldn't take it anymore. I literally felt something boiling up inside of me. I had to reach inside my little folder and pull out the red 'teacher needs a break' sign. I handed it to the lady outside, and once relieved, booked it to the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror, and the tears just started a'bubbling. It was one of those, get a hold of yourself moments, that you can't seem to quite muster the inner strength to find your center. About a minute passed before I got my ridiculous outburst under control. It's not as though I could do anything about the situation, except sit there and continue to pray specifically that each one of them would do their absolute best. It was out of my hands. I wonder how many times God feels that way about us. He can only do so much for us, then it's us that must realize that He is in control and will lead if we allow. After about a five minute hiatus, I scurried back to class only to sit and wonder what the heck was wrong with me that I had to go have a bawl session in the bathroom over a test taken by a room full of ten year olds...Definitely needed big girl pants.

Needless to say, when that week of TAKS finally ended after what seemed like a syrupy molasses moving few days, I needed a break. I headed to Michelle's in Dallas. We had a relaxing weekend of delectable pedicures and did a little shopping, grilled on the patio, and watched the Derby. Usually, I never get sick on the plane. I just sit at a window seat in the front, stare out as it moves along, and drift off to sleep shortly after take-off. Not so much on this day. The flight from Dallas to Corpus makes a quick stop in Houston for about thirty minutes. The plane wasn't full, so I took my pick of seats a few rows from the front, got out my I-pod and book, prepared for an enjoyable few hours of reading. I should have seen it as an omen when I saw the flag standing straight out at attention on account of the gale force winds. I honestly think we took of on two wheels. Suddenly that sense of weightlessness and tumultuous quivering in my stomach set in. I knew this would not be good. I began to feel quite ill. The rest of the flight continued as such and did not stop until we rolled into the gate in Houston. By this time I must have been green. Misty eyed, I asked the flight attendant for some water to take a Dramamine. After the few minutes of ground time, I started to feel myself again. The other passengers began to load and a what I assume to be Indian couple sat in the two seats behind me. I thought nothing of it. My spirits sank when the turbulence ensued yet again and my sickness doubled. I turned the air on full blast. Sometimes, cool air can combat such illnesses, right? Well my fingernails were purple from my trying this remedy. At my weakest thread, that man put down the two tray tables behind me and started playing them like bongos all the while singing a tune I can only liken to the tune of a snake charmer. Though this shouldn't be the case, I wanted to turn around and say, Hey, can I get you some incense to burn along with this insanity? I no more than threw my bag in the car and closed the door before the dam blew. I was a blubbering idiot. God love Wade for putting up with me. I called him in my state, and he's a bit of a fixer. Of course there's nothing he could do, I just had to get it out and get home. When I got home, he had lunch ready...that fixed the situation just fine.

Last on the list of sob stories came Friday. On my way home from work, Michelle told me she had watched "Steel Magnolias". As if on cue, it was on TV Friday night. I got myself a glass of wine and settled in to watch it. I am not proud to say this, but the wine disappeared, and not just the glass of it, and I just boo-hooed by the end of it. I couldn't help but think about how precious life is in my haze of tears. The past few weeks have seemed like such a blur with everything going on. I am guilty of loosing focus at times. For example, today on my way home, I heard the train coming. This didn't set well because I had left the school at 3:44:59 in an attempt to get home early. Luckily, I saw the light up ahead was green. I squealed through it just in time to see the little barrier dinging down and the locomotive thumping down the tracks. My idiotic rationale was that at least I was the first in line. I watched and waited as one by one the cars shimmied past. Wait. I must be hallucinating, is it slowing down? Yep. Came to a complete stop right in front of me as if to spitefully remind me an important lesson. It's not always about how fast we can get through or get ahead, the joy is often in the slow motion views of life that only lend themselves to us when we slow down long enough to see them.

Now for the laughter portion of today's feature. Allow me to begin with one simple thought- eat dessert first. This has become ever apparent to me as I have an ongoing love affair with sweets. Once at a church potluck, I stood in the buffet line holding my Styrofoam plate of my favorite sweet picks. If there's anything I've learned from twenty some odd years of Baptist buffet lines- be cordial, but fend for yourself. I honestly think someone will start talking to you asking how you've been and how's your kin, while sneaking the last piece of chocolate pie right out from under you. I'm on to this trick, you see. I stood there with my goodies, eating a piece of brownie. A lady said, honey you're not supposed to eat dessert first. I quickly pondered that statement all the while the creamy chocolate and sugar concoction coating my taste buds in a moment of sheer bliss. My response was this- I already sinned by lusting over it in the first place, so why not just eat it first? I put this theory into action. Today, I had my cookie before my Lean Pocket at lunch. If you're not quite convinced, think about your favorite dessert on the planet. Take mine for example, White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake at Olive Garden. Every time we go there, I muddle through my Chicken Fettuccine, then find myself full by the time I have the opportunity to relish in the delight of dessert. Well, forget it, from now on, I am eating it first. I can take the rest of the regular food in a to-go bag. Rationality at it's finest. Life's too short to have to hold out for the good stuff on account of a simple formality.

Speaking of formalities, a couple of weeks ago at church we had the privilege of going to lunch with an older couple there in the church. They have lived in this area for over fifty years, and talked about the way things were back when this place was hopping. I thought how sad it must be just to watch things die out around you, left only with the memories of what used to be. As we finished eating, Wade told them that if they ever needed anything, or needed anything moved, to give him a call. In his best grin, the old man said, "If I need something moved, I'm going to set it on fire and call the fire department. They'll move it." When you think about it, what a way to think about life. How would it be to live with such vigor that we are willing to comparatively set things on fire in our own lives that we need moved, and let the Lord move them.

Bringing up the rear is a little episode from this weekend. Wade and I went fishing down at Corpus hoping to reel in a Red or at least something to fight our line. We didn't get a fish, but we did see something worth our while. As I reeled in my line to recast, I turned as I heard a truck struggling with getting bogged down in the sand. I thought for a minute maybe it wasn't four wheel drive, then I realized they were hauling something...a hot tub on a trailer. That's right, there in all its glory Rodney Redneck hauled a flat bed trailer tricked out with a hot tub right on down the beach. I totally rubber-necked to catch the full grandeur of this comedy. He had welded a tin canopy above the hot tub. At the end of the trailer he had enough space to haul two jet skies, complete with a generator at the front. I can't imagine the fury of mess that lingered at the bottom of that hot tub, however, it was nothing compared to the fury of laughter that erupted from Wade and I as we watched him throw sand up into the sunset. Life truly is amazing with the hilarious tidbits thrown our way. They say laughter adds years to your life. Looks like we got a good stock in reserve.

The moral is that you win some you loose some. Sometimes we walk in the dredges only to find our favorite dessert on the other side. May we strive for laughter to outweigh the tears, and comedy to overlie our fears.